


Never Enough Vegas

by Kiarawolf



Category: Best Friends Forever (Webcomic), This Is Not Fiction (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 11:54:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4390901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiarawolf/pseuds/Kiarawolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka “the Vegas fic”. Loving adapted (with a few small liberties) from <a href="http://gorockets.tumblr.com/post/123091970450">this amazing post</a> by Nicole (which contains spoilers for the fic so maybe read it afterwards!).<br/>Teddy and Vincent are on the run. Featuring: a high-speed helicopter chase, Secret Spy Gadgets, a broken time machine, Landon in a pineapple hat, and - yes, it’s THAT type of Vegas fic - drunk marriage!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Enough Vegas

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Mickey Quinn and Nicole Mannino.  
> No profit is being made.

  The car’s breaks scream as it attempts to stop in the short, narrow distance, its tires locking and tail swaying. Teddy looks at Vincent. Tries to swallow down his racing pulse; fails.

  And then the bumper is swinging past them, tail-lights blinking, and Teddy mouths: ‘ _go_ ’. He and Vincent scramble from their crouch and fling themselves out into the middle of the alley.

  Their feet fly over the fresh skid marks, shoes slapping the stone and chests already heaving. They’ve barely made it a few meters before the car behind them comes to a noisy, rubber-burning stop, its nose only _just_ shy of the alley’s brick-and-mortar end. Teddy looks over his shoulder, taking in the sight of a half-open driver’s door – the car is too close to the alley’s side wall for the door to be pushed any further – and a dark head atop a broad pair of shoulders _squeezing_ out the small gap. Teddy looks away. Pushes himself to run faster. _We’re not even halfway down_ , he thinks anxiously.

‘Is that…?’ Vincent puffs, pointing to the alley’s entrance; and just his disbelieving tone is enough to make the hope in Teddy’s stomach turn heavy and cold. There, rolling across the view of a busy shopping precinct – the view of the world outside this desperate chase, the view of _freedom_ – is another car, a black sedan identical to one down the alley behind them.

  This car is less recklessly driven than the first; it doesn’t attempt to charge them down the alley… It just pulls its length across the entrance.

  _Trapping_ them.

  With forward no better than back, they stop running.

  Tensely, panting as they catch their breath, they watch a tall, thin woman emerge from the car ahead and being to walk leisurely towards them. ‘Theodore Bijapur! Vincent Fawkes!’ She calls, lips sneered, fingers pointing. ‘Don’t you dare move.’

  From behind them, the muscled guy cross his arms and adds: ‘yeah, we’re taking you straight to the _boss_!’

  Vincent turns to Teddy, pushing back his fringe, looking franticly from alley-end to alley-entrance; their adversaries are moving unhurriedly, but they’re closing in. ‘What’ll happen to us, if they – ’ Vincent doesn’t finish the sentence.

‘I don’t know,’ Teddy whimpers. He can’t meet Vincent’s eyes, so he stares at the ground instead. And then, ‘ _Vincent_ ,’ he hisses, pointing at the manhole under their feet and Vincent looks at him, understanding lighting in his eyes, and together they twist the cover and lift, groaning under the weight and –

‘ _Hey_ ,’ the woman calls, voice enraged. She’s started jogging, now.

  The manhole _clangs_ against the stones as Vincent throws it aside, and Teddy gulps a great breath of air, preparing to jump through – but then the whirring, thumping sound of helicopter blades _cuts_ the tense air of the alley, and a ladder drops down, the bottommost rung the height of Teddy’s nose, the rope swaying and –

  The thin woman is _screaming_ now, only a handful of strides away, telling them to ‘ _stop right there,’_ and the man is racing towards them, echoing her orders, and Vincent grabs Teddy’s waist and lifts him up and Teddy clutches at the rope, starts climbing. He feels the ladder sway as Vincent hauls himself on behind him. The helicopter doesn’t wait for them to ascent, it immediately starts gaining height – and not a moment too soon, because the thin lady has almost reached them, and she’s _jumping_ for Vincent’s leg – her fingers graze his shoe, but slide off.

‘Ugh!’ She exclaims, but Teddy doesn’t hear the rest; the ladder swings precariously as the helicopter gains height, and the wind cuts through his clothes and fills his ears. Just as he’s about to resume climbing, the sound of a winch reaches him, and he realises that the ladder is being hauled up.

  As they approach the helicopter proper, Teddy recognises the make and the colour – indeed, there’s the Bijapur family name embezzled in silver along the nose. _Father_ _…_ _?_ He wonders.

  But as he clambers aboard, it’s Kennedy who sends tense greetings from the driver’s chair. Kamri and Penelope are with her, and they help him guide Vincent over the edge before rolling shut the door.

  The relative quiet is a relief, and Teddy feels himself relax slightly as he and Vincent sink into twin seats by the window.

‘How did you know…’ Vincent starts to ask, but the girls barely look at him.

  They’re wearing black outfits with _Victoria High Alliance of Ladies – Project VHAL_ across the chest, and there’s oversized watches on their wrists, beeping and blinking with an array of different lights.

‘You have to understand,’ Kamri implores, pressing a button on the side of her watch, ‘that we can’t afford to get involved…’ A laser beams out from her wrist, scanning Vincent and Teddy in a lingering sweep. _Beep,_ and it’s gone.

  Teddy’s spine straightens at that. ‘Why did you _rescue us_ , then?’ He accuses, glaring at them both.

  Penelope and Kamri exchange a glance, but it’s Kennedy, momentary looking away from the control pad, who answers: ‘when a source told us what you did, Teddy… We knew things would get rough.’

  Penelope nods. ‘We can’t intervene, but… we couldn’t just stand back, either.’

  Teddy smiles pleasantly. ‘I see. So this little helicopter ride allows you to clear your conscience without _actually_ getting your hands… dirty.’

‘Teddy…’ Penelope grimaces. ‘Don’t be like that…’

‘They did pull us out of the alley, dude,’ Vincent supplies.

  Teddy lets the silence linger for just a moment before turning to the girls with a polite smile. ‘Of course. Which is much appreciated. As would be any other assistance….?’

  Penelope bites her lip. ‘We’re sorry guys, but… we’re going to fly you to someplace safe, and then you’re on your own.’

  Teddy nods, turning his tired eyes to look out the window; he watches the cloud banks swirling and solidifying underneath them as they continue to gain height.

‘Were are you taking us?’ Vincent asks.

  Teddy hears Kamri laugh. ‘We tried to think of the least probable place. You’re going to Vegas.’

__

  Bodies burnt-out and minds weary, Teddy and Vincent have very little trouble falling asleep to the steady thumping rhythm of the helicopter blades. They recline their seats and even manage to doze right on through driver rotations and a refuelling stop.

  Indeed, during the whole long flight, there is only one thing that manages to briefly wake Teddy; Vincent’s hand, limp with sleep, falling from the arm rest and onto his drawn-up knees. Drowsily, Teddy stares at those tan fingers, tracing each almost-unnoticeable freckle with his eyes, following the lines of every knuckle and vein. When he slips back into sleep, his dreams are of unfinished songs and the reflection of join-the-dot stars on chlorine pools.

__

  The helicopter lurches to the right, rudely awakening Teddy by throwing him against the window and spilling Vincent into his lap; ‘what the hell?’ Kamri complains.

‘We’ve got company,’ comes Penelope’s grim reply from the cockpit.

  Teddy watches with amusement as Vincent, swallowing a yawn, clambers back into his own seat, blushing and apologising.

‘Buckle up, people,’ Kamri orders. With a few clicks and elbow-pokes, everyone straps in. Lifting her watch to her mouth, Kamri holds in a button on the side of the dial. ‘VHAL mission _Rescue the Idiots_ has company, repeat, VHAL mission _Rescue the Idiots_ has company. Standby please.’

  Vincent’s eyes boggle at the blinking watch. ‘Who else is in on this?’

‘Well, we three aren’t the only ladies to attend or graduate from Victoria High,’ Kennedy explains.

  Kamri laughs. ‘Oh, but I’m sure Vincent’s already well aware of _that_.’

  Vincent scowls, and opens his mouth to reply but – _wirrrrrrr_ – the helicopter has turned again, banking hard to the left in order to perform an almost ninety degree turn, and it’s all everyone can do to stay in their seats, even with the aid of the seatbelts.

  Teddy looks pale when he asks: ‘who’s on our tail? Is it…?’

‘We’re still gathering data,’ Kennedy replies, looking intently at her watch. ‘We’re trying to stay out of their radar so it’s hard to get them in ours, you see… it looks like the police, though.’

  Vincent’s eyes go wide. ‘The _police_ are chasing us?’

Kennedy moves cautiously to the back of the cabin and pulls two backpacks out of the cupboard there. ‘You two should put these on,’ she suggests, throwing them across to Vincent and Teddy.

  Vincent looks like he’s going to protest, but the helicopter turns again, listing dangerously to the right – out the window, Teddy sees they’re cutting in behind a building – and Vincent fits the backpack over his shoulder without a word.

  Kennedy moves into the cockpit as Teddy adjusts his own backpack. He hears beeps and whispers as the door separating the control deck from the main cabin clicks shut behind his sister. He tries to catch Kamri’s eye, but she’s absorbed in her watch, thumb flying across keys and eyes taking in data.

  Out the window, the city of Los Vegas is rolling by beneath them, fifty story buildings and gaudy flashing lights and waving palm trees all dull and tired under the mid-afternoon sun. They’re flying a weaving path between the tallest high-rises; Teddy’s guessing those huge lumps of concrete are a good way to block a radar signal.

  Or perhaps just a line of sight; as they move out of the shadow of the building, Teddy spies a navy blue helicopter with yellow accents and _Police_ written boldly across the side before Penelope rolls them back the other way, spinning them practically on the spot in an effort to put the building back between them and the other chopper… ‘We have a visual on the adversary, repeat, we have a visual on the adversary,’ Kamri reports into her watch.

  With a whirr, they pick up speed. Teddy watches as they pass between the glass windows of two parallel office buildings, their propeller blades far too close for comfort…

  The sun hits them again and they’re through, and now that the helicopter has room to breathe Teddy feels like he can too, but – _is that_ …?

  Out the window he spies a second chopper, laying in wait at the side of the office building. ‘There’s _another_ one!’ Kamri shouts into her watch, too anxious to use formal lingo. This one is smaller than the first, and it launches itself towards them, light and swift, and Teddy braces himself for yet another hair-pin turn…

  As the helicopter tilts on it’s side and Vincent struggles not to lean into him, Teddy says: ‘Vincent, listen carefully. To activate the parachute, you pull this string here, but only do so once I signal you, we don’t want it to get tangled in the propeller blades – ’

‘We don’t have to jump, do we? Teddy, I – um, _shit_ , I – ’ Vincent looks like a horse preparing to bolt, his eyes wide and knee jiggling.

  The helicopter levels out and Teddy struggles to have his voice heard above the whine of the blades as they increase their speed. ‘Goodness Vincent, you’re not afraid of a little jump, are you?’

‘I – uh – ’

  Teddy grins. ‘Just teasing. Now, the signal I’ll make is a thumbs up, so keep your eyes on me…’ Teddy tries to give as simple an explanation as he can. Vincent stutters as he repeats the instructions, practically having to shout thanks to the thump of the blades overhead.

‘They’re closing the gap!’ Kamri panics.

  Teddy faintly hears Penelope’s reply from the cockpit. ‘We can’t _go_ much faster!’

  The buildings either side of them (and the rooftops below) are a glass-and-concrete blur. Teddy can make out the tiny shapes of people on the streets below, pointing up at the chase occurring over their heads.

‘Rodger that,’ Kamri confirms to her watch, and then she turns to Teddy and Vincent. ‘We’ve got agents on the ground here, they’re going to fly a decoy copter right past these bastard’s nose. They won’t be fooled for long, though, so you two are going to have to… exit a bit _sooner_ than planned.’

  Kamri moves towards the door and hauls it open; the rush of air is almost deafening. Teddy unbuckles himself and Vincent and then physically pushes his friend towards the open exit… Vincent, eyes full of the view of bone-splattering drops and the rooftops of fifty story buildings, makes it little further than his chair. ‘No, dude, I can’t – we can’t just – ’

‘You have to get into position _now_ ,’ Kamri implores, ‘we’ve almost reached our bait-and-switch mark, come on, come _on_ …’

  Vincent just scratches his arm, shaking his head and stuttering: ‘t-there _has_ to be another way…’

  Teddy sighs. Swiftly, he throws himself across the helicopter, skidding to a stop just before the drop; he clutches at the floor, searching for purchase… looking up, he makes his eyes as large as he can. ‘V-Vincent, _help_ – ’

  His words are too quiet to be heard above the howling wind, but Vincent has no trouble reading his lips – instantly, he’s lunging forward, arms reaching – and ‘NOW,’ Kamri yells, and the helicopter begins to turn, tilting on it’s side and Teddy’s starting to slip out – Vincent’s fingers crash over his, but Teddy’s already falling and Vincent’s staring at him as he slips out into the empty air, and Vincent’s pushing off the floor without a moment of hesitation, leaping out after him while their eyes are still locked and – _‘Teddy,’_ he reads on Vincent’s lips as the helicopter draws away and it’s just them, just them above a concrete city, locked in the grip of gravity with the wind in their ears. Teddy looks back at the helicopter and decides that it’s far enough away so ‘ _now_ ,’ he orders, and gives a big thumbs up; Vincent takes a moment to come to his senses, but once he sees Teddy’s parachute pop he understands, and then they’re drifting between the topmost spires of Los Vegas and it’s quiet and unbelievable and beautiful.

  Teddy has practiced parachuting a number of times – one of the perks of owning a private helicopter – so he has little trouble manipulating the great piece of fabric, tugging on this corner and then that until he is on a trajectory he is pleased with. Vincent, however, has no experience to speak of, and veers wildly through the air until he grows used to the sensitivity of the controls.

  Once he gets the hang of it, however, Teddy thinks Vincent looks… quite suited to the sport. _Almost like the lead of an action movie_ , Teddy laughs to himself.

__

  Landing – smoothly for Teddy, slightly after and with a crash for Vincent – on a rooftop, they quickly discard the parachutes. The fire escape leads them down to the bottom floor (after the first ten stories, Teddy wonders if they couldn’t have tried the elevator), and they waste no time in exiting the building.

  The street they emerge onto is a shopping precinct, thick with crowds of people. Teddy notices some of them standing still, looking expectantly in the direction of the rooftop – one of their abandoned parachutes is fluttering in the breeze, making a half-hearted attempted to blow itself over the edge of the roof. Somewhere in the building, an alarm bell sounds.

‘We need to get as far away from here as possible,’ Vincent says.

‘Or…?’ Teddy wonders, pointing across the street. He’s spied a shop; brighter and more colourful than the rest. _Landon and Wife’s Time-Travelling Shop of Disguises_ , the sign reads.

‘That might… actually be a good idea,’ Vincent agrees.

  At the door, a short, blonde boy wearing a duckbill and a jester hat unenthusiastically greets them. ‘Welcome to Landon and Jules’ Time-Travelling Shop of Disguises,’ he sighs.

  Teddy raises an eyebrow. ‘The sign said “Landon and _Wife_ ”,’ he points out.

  Duckbill boy narrows his eyes. ‘LANDON! What did you DO to our _sign_?’

  “Landon” appears over the shorter boy’s shoulder, sporting a rather festive pineapple hat and a pig’s nose.

‘What was that, honey?’ he asks sweetly.

‘We’re just going to – er…’ Vincent gestures towards the shop proper, shuffling away.

  Landon turns his attention towards them. ‘We’re trying to raise money to get back to our time zone, so spend generously,’ he plugs. His eyes linger on Teddy a little longer than necessary. ‘Why _hello_ there, cutie,’ he smirks with a wink.

‘ _Lan_ -DON!’ The duckbill boy growls, and Teddy and Vincent take the opportunity to move away.

  As they walk deeper into the shop, they hear the argument continuing behind them.

‘Sorry hun, sometimes I forget I’m a married man now.’

‘Wha – _no_ – we are not MARRIED, Landon.’

‘Yes we are. You wanting to stop yourself before it happened is the whole reason we used that broken time machine. _Aaaaand_ got landed almost twenty years off the mark.’

‘We were DRUNK and this is _Vegas_ – it doesn’t mean – ’

‘You want me to show you the marriage licence again?’

‘…o-okay, maybe let me have another look.’

‘Heh. _Did you fall for_ – ’

‘NO! Idiot! It’s just for PROOF, of course…’

‘Okay straw _berry_ , whatever you want to tell yourself~’

‘S-shut it, you _pineapple_.’

  Teddy and Vincent make their purchases quickly; something called The Sydney Morgan EnsembleTM (a long blonde wig with bedazzled sunglasses) for Vincent, and The Casual Sports FanTM (an oversized baseball cap with a matching jacket) for Teddy. They also wind up with a pair of complementary playing card costumes; “free with every purchase”. ‘We over-ordered on an Alice in Wonderland theme,’ duckbill boy had offered as an explanation.

  Out on the street – their costumes feeling more like huge red flags than actual disguises – they wander aimlessly in the afternoon sun. Every curious passer-by raises Teddy’s heart rate, and every black sedan has him tensing up, ready to run.

  Vincent is little better, his eyes skittish behind his sunglasses and his hands reaching up to rub the back of his neck at increasingly frequent intervals.

‘We should go somewhere,’ Teddy suggests, ‘Instead of just wandering around…’

‘How about a bar?’

‘Goodness, Vincent, I don’t know if that’s really our scene…’

  Vincent shrugs. ‘Maybe that’s – um – exactly why we should?’

__

  An hour later, they’re holed up in the private booth of a middle-class establishment, sharing a fruity cocktail while the light slowly fades outside. The first had been purchased to avoid suspicion, but now the pair are on their third and not afraid to admit that they’re ordering the sweet, strawberry-and-mint drinks to take the edge off what has been a long and stressful day.

  When Vincent removes his sunglasses and stares at them broodily, Teddy knows that the question is coming.

‘Teddy… what did you _do_? Why are all these people chasing us? Why are the cops…?’

‘I – Vincent, I…’ Teddy doesn’t know how to answer. He clenches the collar of his shirt, trying to hold in the panic. Would Vincent still be sitting here with him, if he knew the idiotic thing Teddy has done?

  Vincent sighs, reaching across the table to place a hand onto Teddy’s shoulder. As if reading his thoughts, Vincent says: ‘it’s okay, whatever it was… it doesn’t matter, dude. I’m going to stick by you, okay?’

‘You… are you sure, Vincent…’

‘Yeah dude, of course.’

‘…If you say so.’

__

  Three hours later, they’ve moved on from fruity cocktails; now, Teddy nurses a cinnamon firewhiskey and Vincent sips a spiced rum.

 ‘Vinnnnncent,’ Teddy announces, ‘I’ve got an _idea_. The thing the pineapple-head did. We – we should – _hic_ – we could _prove_ it!’

‘P-prove? What do I need to prove?’

‘That you’ll _stay by_ me.’

  Animated, Vincent grabs Teddy’s head and stares straight into his eyes. ‘I will! I’m gunna to do that! That’s the thing I’m’a’gunna _do_.’

  Teddy beams, eyes shining. ‘Me too! And I know how we can tee that.’

‘Tee what?’

‘Gauntee. Gau _reen_ -tee.’

‘…guarantee?’

  Teddy nods.

__

  A lolly shop.

__

  An outfit change in a public bathroom, the dull light flickering in a way that hurts Teddy’s eyes.

__

  Collapsed on top of each other on the pavement, laughing like the condescending frowns of passer-by’s are the most hilarious thing in the world.

__

  Holding Vincent’s hand.

__

  A man in a strange hat, asking: ‘do you, Theodor Bijapur, take…’

__

  A shy kiss that devolves instantly into contagious giggling.

__

  Riding high on Vincent’s shoulders, feeling like he can touch the sky.

__

  Finally finding somewhere with a vacancy, collapsing onto a dusty bed, trying to kiss again, intending to be serious this time, but … yawning…

__

  At eight thirty-two precisely, their hotel door is blown off its hinges.

‘Cornered you now,’ the thin lady sneers.

‘That’s right,’ her companion chimes in, ‘you’re real _cornered_ -like now.’

  The lady rolls her eyes.

  Teddy and Vincent, spread out and holding hands on the bed, moan a little –but their lashes barely even flutter.

  The thin lady sighs. ‘Lets go get the boss,’ she orders.

  Twenty minutes later, Louis strides in, pours twin cups of water over Teddy and Vincent’s spluttering heads, and waits, hand-on-hip, for them to sit up.

‘Louis?’ Vincent exclaims, taking in the immaculate hair and off-shoulder crop top.

  Louis raises an eyebrow. ‘I see you two made a mess of yourselves, giving my employees the slip. What on earth are you _wearing_? Potato sacks?’

  Vincent and Teddy look down to see they’ve put on the card costumes at some point in the night. Teddy’s is the ace of diamonds and falls down past his knees, looking like a strangely patterned nighty, while Vincent’s seven of spades rides dangerously high on his thighs.

‘And please don’t tell me – oh god, those _are_ pop-rings.’ Louis adds.

  Indeed, both boys have lollypop rings upon their respective ring fingers, the lollies halfway sucked and covered with a mixture of lint and dust; no doubt picked up from the two-star sheets.

  Of the three of them, Teddy is the one to catch on first. ‘Vincent…’ he says slowly, and then wishes he hadn’t. Just thinking about talking is giving him a headache.

  Louis beats him to the punch, anyhow. He snatches a piece of paper from the side table and reads it aloud. ‘“…in commemoration of the marriage of Theodore and Vincent Bijapur-Fawkes” – you _hyphenated_? How tacky.’

  Teddy and Vincent look at each other. Their heads are pounding and the whole world feels like it’s swaying. ‘We – ’ Vincent blinks. ‘Did we really – ’ He looks at the lollypop rings. The card dresses. The official-looking piece of paper in Louis’ hand. Teddy’s blush. It all seems to point in the same direction.

‘Whatever, cleaning up after your alcohol-loosed repressed feelings is NOT why I’m here.’ Louis points a slim, accusing finger at Teddy. ‘You know what you did.’

  Teddy holds his hands to his temples. Tries to fight down all the emotion that’s broiling in his stomach; emotion pertaining to the impatient tap of Louis’ foot, to the nervous clench of Vincent’s fist, to the memory of giggling smiles and solemn “I do’s”… Fails. ‘Louis, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I’ll buy you a new one. Please, just…’

‘Is this – ’ Vincent interjects, ‘about the reason we’re on the run?’

  Louis can’t hold back his laugh. ‘You didn’t tell him? You dragged him on this mad run all the way from Jersey to Vegas and he doesn’t even _know_?’

‘I…’

‘ _Wooooow_. Always the communication issues with you two, isn’t it? I think you’ll be fessing up all sorts of things today.’ Louis looks pointedly at the piece of paper in his hand. ‘So go on, then. Start with this. _Tell him what you did_ , Teddy.’

  Teddy swallows, wills his headache away. Pushes down the slight urge to vomit. He looks his new husband straight in the eye. ‘I broke a bottle of Louis’ hairspray,’ he confesses.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please leave a comment it will probably make me cry a little <3


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